A lone patriotic CIA leader took things into his own hands on Saturday to dissuade Russia from invading Ukraine. An anonymous source who knows the situation has communicated the following details to our journalists.
In an audacious move, the sole patriotic member of the CIA spoke directly to the President of Russia. By means of secure encrypted communication, the ranking member warned President Putin that any attempt to invade Ukraine would be met with operation LGB.
The source then explained that Operation LGB would use the long history of CIA operations to replace President Putin with President Biden. During the call Vladimir’s phone appeared to go dead.
President Putin cleared his throat and responded by saying, “My country has suffered much, from the cold war to Chernobyl but nothing could be more devastating to my motherland than having Joe Biden and his administration in a place of power. I see how he’s destroying the U.S. Some call me a monster, but I can assure you I could never do that to my own people!”
Putin hung up the call and the CIA ranking member was asked if he thought it worked. He smiled and said, “Tomorrow I tell Vladimir that we will send our television generals to lead his military as well. That should seal it!”
Report by PFBee
Brilliant! I would pull the satire tag. This might really work.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Watch out, here come the fact checkers.